{"fatawa":{"id":11731,"title":"Husband falling short in his duties towards his wife because of physical and mental illness","slug":"husband-falling-short-in-his-duties-towards-his-wife-because-of-physical-and-mental-illness","order":" ","question":"<p>I have been married for approximately two and a half years but my  husband does not become intimate with me except every three or five  months approximately. He always gives excuses such as sickness or being  bewitched (sihr), or the lack of financial stability. He does not show  me any affection at all. Every time I speak frankly to him about the  matter he comes up with ready-made excuses. Please note that he does not  suffering from any (physical) problem, as he says, and he refuses to go  to the doctor. In the end I told his family about the matter and they  spoke to him, but it was of no benefit . He is putting pressure on me to  seek treatment in order to become pregnant and I do not know how it can  happen. I am fed up and I do not know what to do. If my family find out  about my situation this will definitely result in divorce. Please note  that we have been to a number of religious shaykhs, all of whom  confirmed that the evil eye is involved, but nothing has helped us. To  be frank, I am afraid that I may fall into immoral actions. <br \/> I hope that you can explain to me what I have to do, and in the case of divorce, what are my rights?.<\/p>","answer":"<div class=\"list-group-item-text ftwa-single-answer font-nrmal\"><span class=\"line_height\"> Praise be to Allaah.\r\n<p>Allah has enjoined      upon the husband to treat his wife decently and with kindness, as He says      (interpretation of the meaning):<\/p>\r\n<p><em>&ldquo;And live with      them honourably&rdquo;<\/em><\/p>\r\n<p><em>[an-Nisa&rsquo; 4:19]<\/em>.<\/p>\r\n<p>This is one of the      rights that are common to both spouses; each must treat the other decently      and with kindness.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Each spouse has      rights over the other. We have discussed in detail the rights of the spouses      over one another in the answer to question no.     <a href=\"http:\/\/islamqa.info\/en\/10680\">10680<\/a><\/p>\r\n<p>One of the rights      that the wife has over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by      means of intercourse with her. This is obligatory for the one who is able to      do it. This is the view of the majority of scholars.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>It says in <em> al-Mawsoo&lsquo;ah al-Fiqhiyyah<\/em> (30\/127):&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>One of the rights      of the wife over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by having      intercourse with her. The majority of fuqaha&rsquo; &ndash; Hanafis, Maalikis and      Hanbalis &ndash; are of the view that it is obligatory for the husband to have      intercourse with his wife. End quote.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>The scholars      differed with regard to the limits within which the husband must have      intercourse with his wife. The most correct opinion is that it should be in      accordance with her need and his ability.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Shaykh al-Islam      Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who does      not have intercourse with his wife for one or two months; is there any sin      on him or not? Is the husband required to do that?&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>He replied:&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>The man should      have intercourse with his wife according to what is reasonable. It is the      most important right that she has over him and is more important than      providing her with food. It was said that obligatory intercourse is once      every four months, or whatever is in accordance with her need and his      ability, just as he should feed her according to her need and what he can      afford. This is the more correct of the two scholarly opinions.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><em>Majmoo&lsquo;      al-Fataawa<\/em>,      32\/271&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Your husband may      be suffering from some mental or physical illness and this may be what is      causing him to refrain from intercourse or showing affection. You cannot be      certain that this is not happening in his case, especially since you say      that the shaykhs who have examined your situation think that he has been      affected by the evil eye. It is not far-fetched to say that that the evil      eye may be what has caused the change in his behaviour.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Dr. &lsquo;Abdullah      as-Sadhaan &ndash; who is a specialist in matters of ruqyah and whose doctoral      thesis was entitled <em>Diraasah Muqaarinah &lsquo;an ar-Ruqyah ash-Shar&lsquo;iyyah<\/em> (A Comparative Study of Ruqyah as prescribed in Islam) was asked:&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Can the evil eye      cause physical sickness or financial or social problems?&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>He replied:&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Yes, the evil eye      can cause a lack of healing from many physical problems and may even make      them worse. It may also cause financial and marital problems, breakdown in      relationships and a lot of calamities. How can it be otherwise, when the      Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: &ldquo;Death among my      ummah is mostly caused, after the will and decree of Allah, by the evil      eye.&rdquo; So whatever occurs of calamities that are less serious than death are      more likely to be caused by the evil eye.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><em>Majallat      ad-Da&lsquo;wah<\/em>,      issue no. 2018, 15 Shawwaal 1426 AH\/17 November 2005 CE&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>One of the duties      of the righteous wife is to stand by her husband in such situations, because      he is in the greatest need of someone to support him and help him in      treating his disease until Allah decrees that he should be healed. If what      has befallen him is caused by his material circumstances and social      interactions, then you can win his heart by beautifying yourself for him,      and treating him in a loving and kind manner, for you are his source of      tranquillity. Allah has created between the spouses love and compassion that      will make it easy for you to reach his heart and reduce the pressure that he      is suffering because of his circumstances.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>You should      understand that the man is not like the woman; the woman&nbsp; can respond to her      husband&rsquo;s sexual needs in all circumstances unless she is sick, menstruating      or bleeding following childbirth. But a man cannot do that unless he has      energy and the desire for intercourse. Hence Islam does not oblige him to      treat his wives (in the case of plural marriage) equally in terms of      intercourse, because that depends on energy, desire and strength. For the      same reason also there is a warning against refusing to share the marital      bed on the part of the wife but not the husband.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>With regard to      your saying that you are afraid of falling into immoral actions, you should      be patient and forbearing, and help your husband until Allah heals him. If      you are not able to be patient then you have the right to ask for a      divorce.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Your husband      should hasten to seek treatment for himself; he should not hesitate to do so      or be heedless or lazy about it. According to what you say, he is neglecting      the rights of his wife and the wife has the right to be kept chaste. If he      is able to do it then he should do so, otherwise he should divorce her and      let her go in a good manner, if she cannot be patient during her husband&rsquo;s      illness.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>In the answer to      question no. <a href=\"http:\/\/islamqa.info\/en\/11359\">11359<\/a> we have      described how to protect oneself against the evil eye and to remedy the      matter.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>We think that it      is best to refer your case to an Islamic judge (qaadi), because he will be      able to establish the facts of your husband&rsquo;s case and seek medical reports,      after which he will be able to issue a verdict on matters of divorce and      rights.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>We advise you to      be patient in putting up with the situation in which you find yourself and      to support your husband during his illness and do your part to seek a remedy      for it, whether that is with doctors or psychologists, or with trustworthy      shaykhs, so that you can find out the cause of his problem, as he may indeed      have been affected by the evil eye.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>We ask Allah to      set your affairs straight.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>And Allah knows best.<\/p>\r\n<\/span><\/div>\r\n<div style=\"padding: 3px; padding-right: 6px; text-align: right;\">Islam Q&amp;A<\/div>","status":1,"created_at":"2015-04-16T20:52:00.000000Z","updated_at":"2015-04-16T20:52:00.000000Z","language_id":1,"fatawacate_id":44,"parent_id":11730,"author_id":"","books":[],"articles":[],"videos":[],"audios":[],"author_name":"","category_name":"\u0627\u0644\u0639\u0634\u0631\u0629 \u0628\u064a\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0632\u0648\u062c\u064a\u0646","category_slug":"","get_date":"2015-04-16"},"translations":[],"fatawa_books":[],"fatawa_articles":[],"fatawa_videos":[],"fatawa_audios":[],"url":"http:\/\/islamland.com\/eng\/api\/fatawas\/11731"}