{"fatawa":{"id":8201,"title":"He is confused as to whether he should marry a virgin or a widow","slug":"he-is-confused-as-to-whether-he-should-marry-a-virgin-or-a-widow","order":"","question":"I know a widow who has children, and I want to get married. I am wondering whether I should marry her or a virgin who has not been married before?","answer":"Praise be to Allaah.\r\n\r\nThis depends on the situation of the husband; it may be that marriage to a widow is more suitable for him, and better. \r\n\r\nThe widow may be a lady of religious commitment and good character, such that you would not want to let the opportunity to marry such a woman \u201cslip through your fingers\u201d, and you could not find a virgin of such religious commitment and character. \r\n\r\nBut generally speaking, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marriage to virgins. \r\n\r\nThere is the story of Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him), whose father had died, leaving him with sisters. In his case it would not have been suitable for him to marry a virgin who was young like them. So he wanted to marry a woman who had been previously married, who could take care of them and look after them, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) approved of his decision. \r\n\r\nIt was narrated that Jaabir ibn \u2018Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: \u201cThe Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked me, \u2018Have you got married?\u2019 I said, \u2018Yes.\u2019 He said, \u2018A virgin or a previously-married woman?\u2019 I said, \u2018A previously-married woman.\u2019 He said, \u2018Why not a young girl, whom you could play with and she could play with you?\u2019 I said, \u2018I have sisters and I wanted to marry a woman who could gather them together and comb their hair and take care of them.\u2019 He said: \u2018You will reach, so when you have arrived (at home), I advise you to associate with your wife (that you may have an intelligent son).\u2019\u201d\r\n\r\n(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1991; Muslim, 715) \r\n\r\nAccording to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2257), \u201c\u2026 so she could teach them and discipline them.\u201d \r\n\r\nAccording to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2805) and Muslim (715): \u201cHe said: \u2018The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, when I asked his permission (to participate in jihaad), \u201cHave you married a virgin or a previously-married woman?\u201d I said, \u201cA previously-married woman.\u201d He said, \u201cWhy did you not marry a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?\u201d I said, \u201cO Messenger of Allaah, my father has died (or has become a shaheed\/martyr), and I have young sisters, so I did not want to marry someone like them who could not discipline them or take care of them, so I married a previously-married woman who could take care of them and discipline them.\u201d\u2019\u201d \r\n\r\nIt was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: \u201cMy father died, leaving seven \u2013 or nine \u2013 daughters, and I married a previously-married woman. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked, \u2018Did you get married, O Jaabir?\u2019 I said, \u2018Yes.\u2019 He said, \u2018A virgin or a previously-married woman?\u2019 I said, \u2018A previously-married woman.\u2019 He said, \u2018Why not a young girl whom you could play with and she could play with you, and you could laugh with her and she could laugh with you?\u2019 I told him that \u2018Abd-Allaah had died and left behind daughters, and I did not want to bring to them someone like them. So I had married a woman who could take care of them and discipline them. He said, \u2018May Allaah bless you,\u2019 or similar kind words.\u201d(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5052) \r\n\r\nShaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said:\r\n\r\n\u201cIt is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, \u2018Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?\u2019 (agreed upon) \u2013 unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.\u201d(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5\/9, 10) \r\n\r\nAnd Allaah knows best.\r\n\r\nIslam Q&A \r\nSheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid","status":1,"created_at":"2014-10-31T20:51:57.000000Z","updated_at":"2014-10-31T20:51:57.000000Z","language_id":1,"fatawacate_id":34,"parent_id":8200,"author_id":"","books":[],"articles":[],"videos":[],"audios":[],"author_name":"","category_name":"Fiqh of the family - general","category_slug":"","get_date":"2014-10-31"},"translations":[],"fatawa_books":[],"fatawa_articles":[],"fatawa_videos":[],"fatawa_audios":[],"url":"http:\/\/islamland.com\/eng\/api\/fatawas\/8201"}