I need help.I married a Muslim Woman who had 4 children.A dedicated muslim widow. In spite of my parents approval I married her.And now we are living happily dedicated in five times prayers,reading Quran etc,along with the children.The reason for my marrage was sincere and genuine, no foul play of intention.To give a helping hand to a woman burdened with children and her sustainence.
The reason for refusal of my parents was as to why I should carry somebody elses burden or trash and thats not fair for me to face a punishment as such. And was also concern that the difficuilty and shame they will face in front of their relations.
I had humbly and kindly explained to them this:
1. I do have the courage to take a woman of that nature and face the consequences with the help of Allah.And Allah will not put a burden that I cannot carry.
2. And why I should not face a punishment for a good cause in the name of Allah,where as I am giving life to a women who had emmencely fallen down mentally,physically and financially.
3. Relations talk about pride and wealth only,do not pray, think Allah.and also do not care us, And I totally rely on Allah and not on my relations kith & kin. But in spite of all explaination they refuse me and my wife.I married in spite of all this and I am happy now. I repent every day to Allah for being very hash & hard to my parents.
Dear brother,couple of days before in TV in a particular Islamic session A brother said that Janna or heaven is in the feet of a persons mother,if I heard it correctly,Now I feel too guilty about myself. So please let me know what shall I do now?.<\/p>","answer":"
What you have done, marrying a woman who has children and was suffering from numerous problems is an action for which you deserve to be praised and rewarded, especially since she is religiously-committed as seems to be the case from your question. <\/p>\r\n
Islam encourages the one who wants to get married to look for a woman who is religiously-committed, for she is the best kind of wife he can have. She will keep herself and her husband chaste, and raise his children in the manner that Allaah likes. She will obey her husband and not disobey him. Marriage to a virgin is encouraged in sharee’ah and is better than marrying a previously-married woman, but the previously-married woman may have characteristics that make her better than a virgin, such as if marriage to her serves a purpose that cannot be met by marrying a virgin, or if her religious commitment and attitude is better than that of a virgin. <\/p>\r\n
Al-Bukhaari (4052) and Muslim (715) narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me: “Have you got married, O Jaabir?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “To a virgin or to a previously-married woman?” I said, “To a previously-married woman, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, “Why not a young girl with whom you could play and she could play with you?” I said, “My father was killed on the day of Uhud, and he left behind nine daughters. I did not like to bring to them someone like them, and I wanted to bring a woman who could look after them and guide them.” He said, “May Allaah bless you,” or he said good words to me. According to one report he said, “You did the right thing.” And according to a version narrated by Muslim, “Then that is better. For women may be married for their religious commitment, their wealth or their beauty. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” <\/p>\r\n
Al-Shawkaani said in Nayl al-Awtaar<\/em> (6\/126): <\/p>\r\n This indicates that it is mustahabb to marry virgins, except for one who has a reason to marry a previously-married woman, as happened in the case of Jaabir. End quote. <\/p>\r\n Al-Sindi said: <\/p>\r\n “Then that is better” means, what you did by marrying a previously-married woman is better or is good. End quote. <\/p>\r\n So you have done well by marrying this woman, and what people say should not matter to you after that. You have done what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did, for most of his wives had been previously married. <\/p>\r\n